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Hormones

I get angry easily. Even the smallest thing irritates me. I have been blowing horns while driving without second thoughts especially when I have to deal with ignorant drivers. A few colleagues have been receiving nasty emails from me. I even removed a few people from my Facebook friends list.

This is not PMS, this is the unstable emotional condition of a woman after childbirth.

My baby turns 6 months this week but I must say that my hormone levels have not stabilized yet. The sudden drop of some hormones after childbirth can cause noticeable changes on a woman's body. The skin becomes dry, massive hair fall on the third month (and we'll continue to lose a lot more hair for the next 6 months or so), unexplainable mood swing (e.g suddenly crying - even when we're not watching Hindi movie/Sinetron/Cerekarama).

Having to provide undivided attention to the baby is the main factor ( when combined with the unstable hormone level) that can cause serious post-partum depression. A woman might not realize they're having PPD as she's too busy caring for the baby, the husband, the other children and the household. 

Some might realize it when they're nearing the threshold. Some just suffer in silent and in the end it takes a toll on the marriage/family. There are cases of death due to PPD, yes... it's no laughing matter. 

It is so serious that many support groups have been formed to assist these poor women (moi included) to handle PPD and take charge of their lives again. 

In my case, my PPD usually started a few days after the baby is born. So far, Alhamdulillah I survived. However, after this third child birth my PPD seems to refuse to end. The situations at home and workplace are not really helping either. I am still not really myself. Perhaps this time I need to work harder to overcome this PPD. 

For those who never experienced it, it feels like you totally lost control of your own life. Everything is dictated by other people and you really don't have any say on it. Yeah, it really sucks... I've cried many times. Banged my head on the bathroom door the other day although I didn't have any intention to hurt myself. There are moments when I feel like breaking all the glassware in the house, slam the door really hard and shoot the dog next door. Let's pray this thing pass quickly. Otherwise I might end up at the police station. Hehe.

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