Hormones

I get angry easily. Even the smallest thing irritates me. I have been blowing horns while driving without second thoughts especially when I have to deal with ignorant drivers. A few colleagues have been receiving nasty emails from me. I even removed a few people from my Facebook friends list.

This is not PMS, this is the unstable emotional condition of a woman after childbirth.

My baby turns 6 months this week but I must say that my hormone levels have not stabilized yet. The sudden drop of some hormones after childbirth can cause noticeable changes on a woman's body. The skin becomes dry, massive hair fall on the third month (and we'll continue to lose a lot more hair for the next 6 months or so), unexplainable mood swing (e.g suddenly crying - even when we're not watching Hindi movie/Sinetron/Cerekarama).

Having to provide undivided attention to the baby is the main factor ( when combined with the unstable hormone level) that can cause serious post-partum depression. A woman might not realize they're having PPD as she's too busy caring for the baby, the husband, the other children and the household. 

Some might realize it when they're nearing the threshold. Some just suffer in silent and in the end it takes a toll on the marriage/family. There are cases of death due to PPD, yes... it's no laughing matter. 

It is so serious that many support groups have been formed to assist these poor women (moi included) to handle PPD and take charge of their lives again. 

In my case, my PPD usually started a few days after the baby is born. So far, Alhamdulillah I survived. However, after this third child birth my PPD seems to refuse to end. The situations at home and workplace are not really helping either. I am still not really myself. Perhaps this time I need to work harder to overcome this PPD. 

For those who never experienced it, it feels like you totally lost control of your own life. Everything is dictated by other people and you really don't have any say on it. Yeah, it really sucks... I've cried many times. Banged my head on the bathroom door the other day although I didn't have any intention to hurt myself. There are moments when I feel like breaking all the glassware in the house, slam the door really hard and shoot the dog next door. Let's pray this thing pass quickly. Otherwise I might end up at the police station. Hehe.

The Diary

The coolest tool cum strongest weapon in The Biggest Loser Club has got to be the Diary. It's where I have to write down (or in this case, search-scroll down-choose) everything I eat, drink and the exercises I do on that particular day. It's kinda user friendly although quite tedious at times, especially when the food I took was not listed in the system. Based on the entry, the system will calculate the total of calorie intake and how much we managed to burn (plus metabolism).

My calorie plan for a day is 1700. So, I have to be wise to plan my daily menu. At the beginning of the week I'll get my weekly menu plan as well as the shopping list. Previously I thought I was already quite good at eating plan e.g this afternoon I'll have Sakae sushi, tonight I'll have KFC. But now, I have to plan way ahead - about 7 days in advanced actually. I also have to be wise at getting substitute especially when I have to eat out instead of having my meals homecooked.

The target is to consume less than the target calorie and to have negative energy balance everyday. Negative energy balance is Total Calories consumed minus Total Calories burned (including metabolism). For the first four weeks, I've recorded an average of -800 energy balance and lost 3.5kg.

So far I think this is the best weight losing program available as I'm not deprived of any of my favorite food. At the same time I feel healthy, happy and focused.

This is my fifth week. I'm going to increase my workout intensity and will surely update on latest development. This is going to be great!

By the way, I haven't drank carbonated drink for 3 weeks and I still live. See.... it's one of the unimportant things that we always thought we couldn't live without.